Juggling the acts of duty April 22, 2010

Between keeping a journal of the exciting ingredients of this new and adventurous process, like the kicking and fluttering going on ALL day long, and the amazing concept that this is all so possible to carry another families baby "inside of me", there are many items of business that need to be attended to periodically. The mounting bills and small insurance coverage issues have to be addressed by myself and watched for discrepancies and policy changes. There is always a risk that the insurance company will deny the charges since it is a surrogacy and not my child. If it were my pregnancy I would let it all go until the end, and worry about it then, but since we are dealing with another persons checkbook, which the outgoing funds add up rather quickly, I feel the need to be fastidious and on top of the game.

The static juggling duties would be the stay at home mommy/doting and supportive wife obligations and necessities. I do not have the discretionary funds to pay a housekeeper, personal chef/nutritionist, trainer, tutor, swimming coach, or even daycare facilitator so I can grab a quick nap, so guess who gets to perform or not perform all of the entertainment above... RIGHT, like most of us stay at home mothers sacrifice to have that chance to raise our children. Thank God for the accolades of my doting husband, my only admirer some days. Children can be so unforgiving for the most infinitesimal mommy mistakes. Of course I do it all with a smile, NOT. There are days that flow smoothly and others that, DON'T. The days that don't I just do what I can, and the days that do, I do more than I should- which probably leads to the days I CAN'T do ANYTHING... You are all enjoying this I'm sure. I would never give up this last year of staying at home with my children, they have been the most fruitful moments in history. I'll never forget most of them, and hopefully it has produced an incremental impression on my family.

And life goes on... Next week the 20 week ultrasound- I'm very anxious to see that jumper.

February 25, 2010

Hiring a doula: We hired a doula this week hoping that it would prove to be another wise decision. She will hopefully help share the incredible experience, take some weight off the parties involved, and accommodate the unexpected needs of participants. The doula interview was swift, and right away we all new it was going to be a benefit to hire such a person.

First Ultrasound:The intending mother and I went in for our first appointment together. Once again I was calm and my body took good care of my motherly instincts. She was taken by the pictures, as any mother would be looking at the first pictures of their baby, and we shared a very intimate moment together which will change my life forever.

Therapist session #1: Closing remarks; To work on taking care of self, not tending to others needs and feelings. Allowing myself to have emotion and express them without hesitation of what I feel others would want me to feel or say. To acknowledge that my needs are my responsibility.

January 10, 2010 Results of pregnancy test:

2 weeks of waiting: Emotionally I new I was pregnant, which turned out to be true. This moment was supposed to be momentous for me, right? Well it was, but only because it has taken the intended parents 7 years to get here and finally it has happened, so I was elated for them and a rush of emotion crept in for a brief moment. This is when I witnessed the power of the human body. I was incredibly emotionally centered, very unexpected, and life just resumed moving in the right direction, for me.

Now off to get a well needed nap!

December 3, 2009

Opinion's and ideas:

Everyone has them- you will not always find support where you'd most likely expected it. Make sure support is not necessary for your survival in this decision. Make sure you have a firm grip on reality and stay strong to your beliefs. I keep remembering that God rewards a good heart, or so I've been told.

The dates are set for insemination, now we wait for the period to end and ovulation to start. We are ALL so very excited to start this journey. My life is starting to feel very special to me. Not that is was not before, but a deeper sense of self and full of pride... It feels invigorating.

December 27, 2009:

I'm ovulating... now we go in for insemination tomorrow. FYI, Ovulation kit is very helpful! I had my ovulation all off- go figure I was able to get pregnant two times prior.

Procedure take less than 5 minutes, and were on our way back home to celebrate Christmas in a different light.

My surrogate journey: 2 weeks prior to fertility clinic

This was an anxious week... more eager to get the process started.

The 33 page attorney contract arrived and reading it became so overwhelming. I guess these big decisions come with big contracts. FYI- It is necessary for both parties to have a representing attorney.

Also the realization that this was going to be a huge sacrifice for my family as well as myself.

Surrogate's Profile: Part 1

My choice to surrogate a child for dear friends is my God given ability, that some "wanting to be mothers" have not been blessed with. My heart feels I need to share this ability with my incredibly deserving friends and also this journey with others who may simply be curious or involved in a surrogacy and looking for support or camaraderie. I hope you gain what you came to my blog for.

My brief profile:

I am a new SAHM that has moved her family half way across the country this year. Through that journey of change there was much discovery, but there was also an emptiness following me from prior to the relocation and job loss. A need for a deeper purpose perhaps, which I'm sure we all go through some time in our adult life. Upon realization of that I started seeking spiritual guidance through meditation and prayer, and during that time, which I was unaware, I was being led to this special purpose unfolding before me. Oh the power of an open heart. I new the minute it entered the picture, that this was my deeper purpose.

This is not something anyone should take lightly, but as a mother of two healthy and beautiful children I was led by my soul to help a friend in need, which to this day I have never regretted once. So my/our journey starts:

We did not take this decision lightly, there was grueling therapy appointments with both participating couples. There were many nights of intense talks about future and present unknowns, health related complications, emotional responses, and so much more that kept coming up every time we would meet. After an quiet emotional break for a few months we decided to make the plans to move forward and 2 months later we took the next big step, with a leap of faith, believing we were right, we headed for fertility clinic (insemination).

It must be God driven because everything has worked out so smoothly and uncomplicated. Insemination took the first time, ultrasounds and prenatal screenings are all negative for any kind of birth defect, and my health at the age of 38 is healthy and stronger than it has been for a few years.

That was 5 months ago... and I am proud to report: I am a healthy 19 weeks pregnant with their baby.

The road of pregnancy has it's ups and downs, and I am not void of any of those, my loving and supportive husband will confirm. I will say though that this sacrifice is part of the gift I'm giving, and I will not expect this pregnancy to be any different, it was my choice. So you will not hear me complaining or looking for sympathy but I will keep you up to date with my story of bringing up a little life.