Morning after the delivery, alone time with my family and baby Mac.
Well it's been a week and a half after the delivery and I'm recouping slowly, considering I'm without the infant that needs endless care taking. It must be the age thing then, cause I feel like I got hit by a MAC truck. The fact that I'm pumping for little Mac is most likely the cause of my fatigue but I know the importance of the first 3 months of breast feeding, so that is my personal goal, to make it one month at a time, as long as it does not jeopardize my family or my health and healing. I've been taken back some with a "back to school" cold which is kicking my butt as well.
There has been huge chunks of clarity this week for me, reliving the entire year that as now come to brief close. This journey has changed me and the way I engage life. I find having to find a place for the more difficult parts and then soon enough I'll know what to do with them. Like this little drawer of temporary storage.
There has been short moments with feelings of loss, which just leaves me with this anxiousness to keep my precious two within eye distance for fear of loosing anything more. I know that will fade with time but it is not easy for the immediate time being. All this could very well be a hormonal response to the birth and delivery, so I will be patient and let it fall into place. Meanwhile watching this amazing little gift make her new parents melt, graces me with a content and happy spirit.
It is truly amazing the huge amount of support and love my family's receiving because of this choice and journey. I'm not to sure I could of made it this far without it all. It gets a little overwhelming at times to feel so admired for doing something I knew I was supposed to do. I'm not this incredible person nor am I superwoman. God just chose me and granted me small lessons of life along the way.
Saying goodbye to little Mac.
I just couldn't imagine their life without the experience of watching amazing children, like the ones I have been blessed with, grow old along with them.
Good night baby...
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